Growing up across cultures, finding purpose and exploring astrology with Jilly Ko

In this episode, Lyd & Liv connect with the calm, cool, and collected Jilly Ko.  She starts off by explaining the clash between a mixed identity - her Taiwanese background and growing up in the USA. How does she navigate between her family's culture and the one she was raised in? How did she escape Japanese boarding school as a child? What was her near-death-experience like?

Jilly also tells us about her travels around the world and what they've taught her. She is a creative soul and a spiritual being, so we spend a lot of time discussing astrology, feng-shui, and meditation. What did her first natal chart reading reveal about her personality, and how is she exploring her creative path?

You can find Jilly on Instagram at @jillyahh

Enjoyed this episode? Please follow and leave us a review. It'll help other curious humans find us, just like you. You can also share this podcast with a friend to spread the word. We so appreciate you tuning in! Episodes air weekly on Thursdays.

Wanna stay in touch?
Follow us on Instagram @whoareyoureallypodcast
Follow us on Twitter @uncoverstories
Join our Facebook Group of similar deep thinkers!

Transcript

jilly_ko_final
You're listening to the Who are you really podcast,
a podcast that features interviews with the captivating people we've met. Live in, I have learned that everybody has a story,
whether it surprises you, shocks you or resonates with you. stories have a way of connecting us, offering new perspectives and acting as a reminder that we're not in this alone.
And there's nothing we love more than bridging people together in our Little Big
Planet. We'll get vulnerable, raw and real with our guests from all over the world.
I'm your host, Lydia,
I'm so much and I'm your host, Olivia Poglianich.
Welcome to our safe space, no judgment, no egos, all the fields and all the fun.
So pull up a seat, get cozy. Let's dig a little deeper together. So today we've got Julie co on air. She's a good friend of mine. I met her in Sydney. She's like a globetrotter. I don't even know where she is half of the time. I think she's in New York now. But Julie's got some really cool stories about spirituality and travel and growing up as a third culture kid.
Yeah, I I really loved the interview and discussions we had with Jillian we touched on some heavier matters, some lighter matters, but really interesting to hear her personal stories. You know, everything from life and death experiences to her first bout of racism growing up to traveling around the world and to spirituality. I mean, we really hit a lot of topics and I think everybody's really gonna find this this one interesting.
Yeah, I agree. I mean, from funk, way to a deep dive in astrology. Her story about getting hit by a car. There's a lot there. And it was so cute when she's like, Is
this too random? Like,
I feel like we talk about a lot of different stuff. But no, Julie, that's the point. You know, we got that beautiful mind with a lot of things going on in it. And hopefully everyone enjoys.
Yeah, I think you're really gonna like it. So let's bring her in.
Hello, and welcome on and with Julie co the lovely one and only. So good to have you today.
So good to be here. Thanks for having us. Thanks for having me. Know,
Julie, we're so happy to have you. I've heard great things.
Thank you. I mean, this is amazing what you guys are doing. It's it's really nice to be like really human about things. I feel like everything's so formal, usually on podcast.
Yeah, we're not about that. Deep and dirty tales. So what are you all about? Julian? Where in the world are you right now?
Um, well, in these crazy times, I've kind of just been hopping around. I mean, it you This is crazy. But I, you know that I came back from Thailand after wedding. And that was like right when the pandemic was hitting the US. And right after I like, came to this, like New York that was in New York anymore was completely locked down and we decided to go to New Hampshire. Me and my partner that is and after that we went to Portland, Maine for a month. And then from Portland, Maine, we drove to Buffalo, New York for a month and after that we went to I went to DC with a friend. And I kind of have just been winding down. Like and back. I'm back in New York now after all of that.
Sounds like go go go.
Yeah, I think that's pretty much how people describe who I am. Like I'm I'm not I don't think I'm high energy. Like I think you can tell by my voice I'm very whatever and chill but I just like doing things and keeping myself occupied in myself occupied.
And Julie, do you think that stems from your like upbringing, your childhood because Olivia tells me you have like quite the various intersections of location and place.
My mom, my mom loves traveling. So I kind of grew up in the family that that enjoyed doing that a lot, which definitely influenced how I feel. I think it's a very big deal for most people. And I just kind of get up and go, and my family leave. They're from Taiwan. So they can't move from a whole different country. And my mom couldn't really speak English that well. And she, I don't know, she's, she's always been a very flexible person. After I went to college, she moved to Japan and learn Japanese, like, it's very easy for her to just like a brute herself and go somewhere. And I think that she's instilled that within me. So yeah, it's just like this, like, ability to be in different places. And my family right now, they're all back in Taiwan and living there. So I'm kind of the only one here, which is also a little sad here. But but that's fine, because I don't know, I'm just so used to being an American. And it's very different from like the rest of my family. And that's something I've just kind of accepted,
in what ways.
Um, like, my, I have two siblings, I have a sister and a brother. And we have quite an age gap like they're 10 and 11 years older than I am. And I guess they grew up in Taiwan first. And then my whole family immigrated here in 92, which is when I was born. And I kind of got brought up in a very different way from the rest of them where I was, you know, going to American school. Like, I my first day of class, like I didn't speak any English at all, but like, my, my lifestyle here is just like very different from what they had back at home.
Yeah, Julie, I remember you were telling me a story about Elementary School in California. And you didn't know English before you came here, right?
Yeah, well, yeah. I, I mean, I was born in the US. So I, but I still spoke Mandarin. And I guess they spoke like a Taiwanese dialect at home too. So I kind of learned those two, before I went to like nursery or preschool.
Right? That makes sense.
Yeah. So like, my first day of school, my mom said, I didn't know English at all. And she kind of just like, dropped me in like deep waters. And I was like, there you go. How fun?
Yeah, yeah, I bet. What What was it like as a kid having those two cultures, like you've said before, you know, you're kind of the only one in your family who identifies as American? Like, how does that feel for you?
Definitely very hard. I remember being, I remember my first encounter with racism, when everyone was kind of doing that ring around the Rosie and holding each other's hand. And I was about to reach my hand for this girl. And this guy, like, this little boy pushed me away, and said, No, like, I look like her and you don't. So I hold, I hold hands with her. You don't. And I was very surprised. And it didn't really register to me for that. That was racism, of course, because I was three years old. But like, I was like, Oh, I don't look like other people. And that kind of was the first thing. And then just, I guess like, back at home, like, culturally, there's like so many differences. And it was always a clash. Like, every time I went back to Taiwan to visit family, they would call me American. But when I was in America, I was considered like, Taiwanese or Asian. So I never really felt like I completely belonged.
Um, especially in our like, the way our world has become globalized. I feel like that's such a common sentiment and common feeling. Even though you do feel like personally alone. And not a lot of people that I meet, while I travel will say, you know, similar things depending on where they their their family comes from, versus where they're born versus where they grew up, versus where they moved to, like, I feel like this idea of this question, Where are you from? His or her is so much more complex than then it states. So like, exactly, yeah. Like, we're kind of in that regard. And when I was traveling, I tried to get them into a habit of, well, where's home to you? Like, what does that mean, to you? Right? And yeah, can you kind of, you know, like, Eclipse that for you, Julia.
I mean, it's like we're coming or, I mean, we're this new generation, with so much access to quick transportation and travel and people are moving all over and exposing like, we're like, more exposed than like previous generations. So it's, like, I feel like there is no solid like, culture for like, especially in the US where it's pretty much a salad Like cultures coming together? Yeah, I was gonna say melting pot, but I feel like that's more like cult like, where you're all becoming one thing. Whereas I think, right here, like we're trying, especially New York City, we're trying to, you know, embrace a lot of different cultures. And that's like, very difficult, but I'm sorry, what? What was your question?
Kind of, um, what does home mean to you? Like, is it a feeling? Is it a place? Is it multiple things at once it does it change versus what life stage you're at in your life?
Right. I definitely feel like home as a term has evolved for me. I, I used to think it was, you know, where your family is. And as my family moved back to Taiwan, Taiwan's and it really resonated as a home for me because I went there for summers, I never grew up there. So I started seeing home as like a place where my, like, old original house was, which is my childhood home. But that kind of idea faded quickly as my, like family, like love the homes and don't like have it anymore as well. So it became now I think, I would say home is more of like, definitely a feeling of like, who I feel most comfortable around. I have a lot of like, really close and best friends and some I will even call like my sisters. who are who are that home for me like the my friend who I was staying with in DC. She is practically my family. And I can't imagine living anywhere, like, super far away from her. And yeah, I think at this point in my life, it's just like, home is like the family you choose and who you feel comfortable being around. Yeah, love it.
You were also kind of talking before about you know, having like all of these different cultures and such a good point about our generation, being such like a salad. I love that. Would you say Julie that you identify with sort of this phrase that's been thrown around a lot lately? Um, third culture kid?
Huh? What exactly is a third culture kid?
was actually going to ask you that, like, have you come across that before? Have people call to you one of those before?
No, this is my, this is my first time hearing the term third culture kid. I can totally see it, though. Like, I think my interpretation of that would be someone who's created their own niche and, like made their own culture based off of like, the multiple, like backgrounds they have.
Yeah, that makes sense, or I don't really hundred percent know, either. But I've heard of it as kind of when Lydia was saying before, you know, there's people who are born in one place, they grow up in a different one. And then their family might come from a third place. It's just like, all of these very different cultures and identities that kind of formed together.
Wow. Yeah. Like it is just the impact of growing up in a globalized world and being like, raised in a culture other than where your parents like, came from in their country of nationality, but also living in a different environment? In your Yeah, in your, in your childhood years.
Right. Because, I mean, yeah, culture. Before a culture was basically where like, what type of like, like, background, and where you were, and also like, your ethnicity, but all those things can come from very different places like now as people are moving around more. So I definitely I definitely resonate with that term a lot. And I think like, yeah, for me, I guess. I don't know if like New York City in general is a culture or like a like a place where all like third culture kids come together and form this like, a subculture
be like, the thing about culture is it's, I think we can often and I don't know if you agree with this Julie and live but I feel like it's it can be really heavily associated sometimes with tradition. But in fact, culture is way more fluid. And, like ever changing as people are developing and changing and traditions also change within cultures to like, it's not this. It's a messy kind of area because it is the set of ingrained ideas and beliefs, but it also develops and that's the point of contention and can fusion, especially in places like Canada and the United States.
Mm hmm. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I was just talking to someone recently about like, Jewish culture and how there's like very traditional, like, Orthodox Jews, and then there's like, very, very progressive, like Jewish people. So I think there is definitely a lot of fluidity and like, just, I don't know, there's definitely a lot of ways culture can change over the years. And that also applies to people individually.
Yeah, I completely agree with you guys. And I've been thinking a lot about it in the context of East versus West culture, Western Eastern, particularly like with this mask wearing, right, like jewelry, you know, better than than us being Taiwanese, how different is the reaction to COVID there versus here and timeline like next to China? Here, you have all these people who are so averse to wearing a mask, because individualism runs so strongly in the culture. And it's really interesting to see, like, at a national level, or even broader than that, how differently can act be some cultures become?
Yeah, that's crazy. I mean, mass burning was just not a huge deal in general, before COVID, and Asia, or at least most of Asia. So for like the concept, it wasn't at all like a new thing. And I think it's also hard for people in the US to first it's like the individualism and like a feeling, feeling like you have the right to do anything you want. And this like self entitlement that we have as a culture, which I don't really resonate with as much. I mean, it has it's good, good and bad. But like, I think that's why Taiwan was so adept in, like, figuring out how to like deal with the situation. Because, like the culturally everyone already knew, like what was in store for something like this to happen, or us here where we just don't like the fact that like, something can happen, and we have to sacrifice things for it.
Yeah, definitely. I'm actually on that note, speaking of culture, and growing up all over the world pretty much. Can you talk to us a little bit about how many places you live? I can't keep
track? Oh, my gosh, I lived in. I did a exchange program in Paris when I was in high school, but I don't really know that counts.
Yeah, how long was the exchange program?
It was about a month and some changes over the summer. And I had a really great experience. But in my adulthood, I would say New York, San Francisco. I will done Germany, Hamburg, Germany, Sydney, Australia. And I guess, Taiwan by proxy like Taipei just because I've visited so often that I know, like, the back of my hands. Yeah. And I guess, Japan, I visited a lot because my mom tried to move me there as a kid. This is like a whole nother story. But well, my mom and my dad divorced when I was in second grade. And I think after a few years, she started dating this Taiwanese guy that was a Japanese doctor. So he lived in Japan. And she wanted to move me like fifth grade Chile to Japan. Out of nowhere. I remember I didn't really realize what was going on. She kind of did not tell me that I was moving there permanently. She like I basically got onto the plane thinking Oh, wow. Like I'm going to Japan for a long time for vacation. And like before the flight was taking off, like my sister called me and she was crying and she said that she was really sorry that like, she couldn't stop my mom from taking me to Japan. And I told her Oh, it's okay. Like, I'll be back.
And I didn't really fully understand that. But
lo and behold, I was moving to Japan. her partner then had children who are going to this boarding school in the mountains like in this very secluded area in Japan like up in the mountains. It was like a Catholic school. And I was put in the dorm there. Wow.
Experience.
Yeah, it was a boarding school in Japan like it was so weird. And super, super Catholic. Yeah. So so I kind of lived there for a few months until I couldn't take it anymore because Japanese people were just very, very, I don't know, they they're not very accepting of like other cultures or people who are different from them, to be honest, and I got bullied a lot when I was there because I was not Japanese. And it was a horrible, horrible experience. So I basically told my mom, I couldn't do any more than she had to take me back to the US. Yeah, so I did a semester abroad, unwillingly in Japan as a kid.
Do you think all these international experiences have shaped how you view the world?
Definitely, um, I don't know how but it definitely influences. I don't know every action that me or down to like, What? How I think about things for sure.
What's one of the most maybe surprising realizations that have come about from your travels and experiences about yourself about people but the world? Hmm.
I guess it's always eye opening and a culture shock going somewhere else where nobody looks like you. Because when I was living in Germany, I like Hamburg is fairly diverse. But there weren't that many Asian people still. And I also had lavender grayish hair. So I felt like, wherever I went, I was constantly under a microscope or like, like, literally all eyes were on me every time I walked in somewhere. So I don't I don't know what really changed me. I guess I had also a lot of like life and death situations happen, which was very shocking. I don't know if I went into detail with you Olivia about this before, but like,
Yeah, please do it again. I remember that crazy story from Sydney. Yeah. So
I want to know,
right after I met all of ya, we I was with my roommate, and a friend from my grad school, who was also doing this like internship program with me and Sydney. And we had a few drinks, and we're in this kind of nightlife area on new town. It's basically the Brooklyn area of Sydney. Very, very artsy. And I was crossing a street with my friend and she, there was just like, so many oncoming cars that we didn't really have any opportunity to pass like it was one of those moments where you're like, Oh, no, no, I can't go. And there was an Uber that I called, that was waiting across the street from Lowe's and couldn't turn around because of the heavy traffic. So we were getting very impatient. And at one point, I think my friend mistaken it to be an opening where there was no car in Hong Kong, incoming cars, and I got pulled into the middle of the road. And I remember just suddenly a car coming out of nowhere and just hitting me, but it stopped. So it kind of like, hit me, but I was kind of like it was slowing down on me. So I was kind of on the car. I can't really describe describe it. But basically, it stopped on me. And I was like on the car it kind of rolled over my friend who is next to me. But she was wearing Doc Martens and kind of like, like hit her toe but like the shoes saved her apparently and she was totally fine. This is a this is a Doc Martin ad. But But yeah, I was kind of bruised but that was about it. Thank God. But it was very shocking because I I literally saw my life like a flash before my eyes and the sound was super loud. So literally everyone around us who were walking around the street streets and like drinking all stop or remember one woman like gas and she's like, oh my
god.
But I kind of just like I froze and I kind of walked away like limping like I literally like I was on autopilot at that point. I just kind of walked into the Uber and close the door and everyone it was Uber share. So there was another passenger in the front seat who witnessed that happening as well along With the driver. We were all silent in the Uber car for at least two minutes. And then the driver started screaming because he was like, I guess he was scared because he saw it happens. He's like, what were you thinking? And I was like, I don't know. And you like, you could have died. And I was like, why didn't you wait? And I was like, well, because I was scared. You were driving away You were enjoying the car for He's like, I wasn't gonna drive away and allow it. We were just like, you like, panic yelling at each other. And then we are we're all silent again. And I think everyone was just in the shock. And he then he was like, Where am I going? And he got lost. And I was like, directing him. I was like, no turn left here. Turn right. And my friend, meanwhile, was like, by my side, and she's like, I and we got out of the car. She's like, I don't know how you just got hit by a car and directed us home. Just like I think I was just on like, survival mode at that point. Yeah. And everything was just yeah, autopilot. I would describe it as and I got back to my room. And I kind of just broke down and started sobbing and my friend likes to eight over my room is up on the floor and accompany me and those. Yeah, it was crazy. But yeah, that was
definitely a jarring experience. I remember catching up with you like shortly after that happened. I still can't believe that happened to you. And then you got in the Uber on skated right after like, kudos to you. I don't know how I would react in that situation. But definitely not as calm, cool and collected as jellico
yeah, I forgot but I the the context is I did get hit by a car as a teenager before so that experience was especially triggering because it was like reliving what happened to me. A more such like more serious situation where I was hospitalized for three months.
Shit. Yes.
Oh, yeah. You've been through the trenches have a cheat? Oh, my God. It's how does experiences like that? Make you? Like, what? How does it impact your feelings about life and death?
Don't know, I'm definitely still scared of death.
We went Christmas shopping after that happened, didn't we?
Oh, yeah, we did. Yeah, but the crystals I bought were more about career. It wasn't about like, healing my soul or anything. I feel like I still prioritize what I wanted to do. And like, my creative path instead of like, how I was emotionally, because I remember the crystals I got were like carnelian, like Tiger I and they were all like, very, like grounding. energies that were about, like, being more confident in oneself and like, more creative and like doing what you love doing. And I guess that's maybe what I'm going through those experiences have made me I guess, prioritize. Like, I feel like, what makes me happy is what I do in life. And that is being a creative person. So I think, for me, it's like, I deal with emotions terribly. But I deal with like, what I want to do with like, great force. Does that make sense?
I mean, like, I would challenge you isn't what you want to do really emotional. Especially.
Yeah, that is true.
They tell us more about these creative endeavors. Julie? I'm so curious.
Well, I I haven't started much yet. But I I've been in advertising for the majority of my life, I would say at this point. Because I knew I was going into advertising since I was in high school. So I've always loved just coming up with like a lot of ideas and like kind of thinking of things in a different way and also using like, human insights and, and truths to help, you know, people resonate with something like with a product or like, just with an idea. So I get I guess that's kind of what I enjoyed doing. But I don't I don't have any, like personal projects. I would say like I was trying to make an A really stupid video game before. I kind of had put that on hold.
Oh, yeah, sounds really cool.
Yeah.
Hold
on, just because work was very demanding. And also I would have to find like a coder or an app developer. And that just all felt like a whole nother like, I felt like part of me doesn't want to make something that's not long lasting as well, which is the picky side of me. Like, I want to create things that are lasting or of use. And at the end of the day, like creating a video game that's just like, funny wasn't really that enticing for me in terms of like how I like, was using my time. And that's also like a huge problem of mine. I feel like I have so many creative ideas, but I don't really follow through with it. And
I can relate to that. I think a lot of like most humans, that's like our, one of our flaws, like holding back and like, I'd love to kind of like dissect that a little bit more like what is it that we don't, because I've been at this Crossroads many times about having ideas and dreams and being such a dreamer. But then when it gets down to, you know, enacting something through and through, you're like, holy crap, this is a lot of work.
Yeah, I like
I mean, it's great that you guys are literally doing it. So I think that's the first step and just, you know, starting and like, I feel like, I mean, listening to other podcasts, like how I built this, and people just start doing things like it's just like they, they tackle it one step at a time. And where people stop is usually where they overthink the whole process and they get overwhelmed by it's like, well, like, what about this in the future? But like, if you just do it step by step like I think I should take my own advice, honestly. But I think that's that's like the the point where people break.
Chili. I be curious. Since we're now talking about advertising your career and stuff. Why do you think your career so important to you? What about it really makes your heart sing?
Do you heavily associate your career with your identity?
I guess so. Yeah, I, I guess I just feel like shit when I don't have things to do. And I like keeping busy. And I know that I'm happy when I'm creating and advertising just helped give me that platform where I didn't have to think about management and logistics, like, like, some accounting person will throw a client at me and I would just have to use my brain and think and create and that was so easy. And I knew that the money was good. So that easily became the like, I don't know focus and like center of my life. It has. I recently got let go. So I'm starting to reevaluate what advertising really means to me, like how happy I actually am being in that? Or is it just like the environment or the type of agency that I'm at? That's not like allowing me to feel at my best. So I've also been exploring like things I never thought about before, like, maybe taking Fung Shui classes, I'm really into decorating and also the spiritual aspect of it. So yeah, I'm kind of feeling out things right now. And still in that Limbo stage of Yeah, not knowing what's next.
It's incredibly introspective and frightening at the same time, that place. And it's fun to it's a weird Crossroads to be at when you're thinking and reflecting and also, you know, trying new things. So tell us more about Fung Shui and getting into that.
Oh, well, I mean, my family. I think this was such a huge part of Chinese culture. Fung Shui is just a means of making your home a more positive and like fortunate vibe. If I have I don't know if I have a better term for it. I like Chinese people are all about money. It's in that it's in that comedy show with like Ronnie, Ronnie forgot his last name, but there's like a comedian who talks about how much Chinese people love money. And I totally resonate with that and that's exactly what Fung Shui is about. It's about placements of furniture and like, your like your window like which way it's facing for you personally is like the luckiest and more most prosperous for you personally to help you like, earn more money and help you have a smoother like life and let you be healthier. And a lot of it's almost common sense. Like homes that are like, not like things are not blocking the doorway, like that's just like hard to walk around every day. And like it's all about flow. And I think it's been it's, it's a little bit of mindfulness and common sense. And also just like, also spatial, like spiritual stuff that
I've had some
more into that. But I actually had a question for a second. Yeah, say, Chinese people and Chinese culture and like, just from a place of kind of ignorance. I know, there's a huge difference, obviously, between China and Taiwan, and why it's Taiwanese, and we can probably do a whole second podcast just about this. Yes. You explain why you said Chinese in that context. And like, were you calling yourself Chinese? Or, I guess, curious, like, so that I know how to really identify it properly when I have Taiwanese friends.
Right? That is just such a complicated matter. I feel like trying when I say Chinese culture, it's the culture that has been, I don't know, it's, like most people from Taiwan, like my ancestors, mostly came from China, maybe like, at least 100, maybe 200 years ago from the Ching Dynasty. And Taiwan, Taiwanese people are very much like, prototype, like a lot of them are pro Taiwan. This is where it gets political. But like, I feel like politics wise, I would say I'm Taiwanese, but a lot of cultural aspects, like, where are we, like, take from like, in a lot of cultural terms, I would say it's Chinese culture. Because China, just like, like a lot of Taiwan. Culture is from China. Yeah. Yeah, it's, I guess, like, it's not so much, but it's almost like someone who came from, I don't know, like, somewhere in Europe. And they say, it's like, oh, this is like a very English thing. But we do it here in the US. So I'm American, but like, this is like a very, like, Irish culture from my like, grandma or something.
Yeah, we're Spanish. Like that could mean and there's politics and wrapped in that too.
Right? Write? Yeah. Like Taiwan's a fairly new country. So it's like, I think I would prefer to be called Taiwanese. But culturally, like, there's a lot of things that were from China that we moved, or came from. Yeah.
That reminds me perfectly of I guess, Australia versus England and a lot of ways and gray. Okay, I guess I shouldn't say England UK if we're gonna be all politically correct by Yeah, I'm chilly. I would love to dive into some of the spirituality we've touched on you were talking about crystals. I know you're big into astrology. What got you into all this stuff? And how long would you say you've been? I don't know a spiritual person. Um,
I guess my family was my biggest influence because they were talking about astrology when I was just a kid. So I kind of went into a deeper dive after they were kind of talking about it on the surface level. I don't I don't know I just I always gravitated my mom also really like crystals, but not in a spiritual sense. She just like really likes them. And I think I've taken everything for my family and just expanded on it or like went deeper into it. And this is where it gets weird. But I was I finally I never really spoke to an astrologer before but last year, I was going through a huge move and really confused so I I found this person who is great and she was telling me that she saw something in like one of my astrological Natal charts, and there was like a position where I have this. I don't know. I tend to lean towards Spirituality and like a lot of this, like the crystals and astrology and like, all these things, but apparently in my I don't I, I should but I'm really bad at it. That's the one thing I'm trying to work on. Because I know it's all about like being mindful. And I think that would be really helpful and giving me direction. But yeah, I should also because my family's Buddhist. But yeah, you're bad at it,